I Read Something Silly Today…
I don’t know what took me so long, but I just came across this article from Marie Claire: The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women.
The author, Ying Chu, cites the marriages of prominent Caucasian men to Asian women and states, “But after two or three failed attempts at domestic bliss with women of like background and age, these heavy hitters sought out something different. Something they had likely fetishized.”
I don’t know. Is it okay to assume something like this? Maybe he fell for her because she was witty and purely delightful to be around. Maybe she fell for him because he was romantic and got along great with her parents. Who is to say that all my peers can be reduced to “overachieving Asian good girls” searching for “stand-ins for emotionally repressed Asian dads”? Old stereotypes like these should never make a comeback.
The article struck me for two reasons: First, I had a special interest in Asian and Asian-American women’s literature in college, and the voices for respect and individual regard have stuck with me. Second, I realize that from the outside, Adam and I are a white man and Asian woman.
But we’re so much more than that. We’re goofballs and picnic buddies and Pixar shorts fans (For the Birds is our fav!). We grew up in America, a country vastly different from where our parents and grandparents grew up. We’re Serbian and Korean, and we share fragments of the language, food, and culture of our “Mother Lands.” We’re more than different-colored people holding hands. We have backgrounds, personalities, and real day-to-day lives. And so do the couples, famous or not, named in the article.
I guess the purpose of this little post is to say: Hey, isn’t it weird and unbeneficial that anyone would write/publish this article? And to ask: Is it okay to reduce anyone’s marriage to a label—to call it a trend, call it globalization, call him a fetishist, call her a trophy wife? Because it’s always more than that. And it might just be love! ❤
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